9 ways to spice up your sex life


Your bedroom can be transformed into a place of passion in many ways. The key to success lies in knowing yourself, knowing your needs, and being open to new experiences. 

Check out these unique ideas for making you excited about sex again and getting your heart pumping.

1. Stay Fully Clothed

Wait what!? How will keeping my clothes on spice things up?

Outercourse is a great option because it helps women forget there's a goal, so they can just enjoy the feelings and sensations of the ride. By doing so, they get out of their heads and into their bodies. Long-term relationships can also benefit from outercourse, because it can remove the same-old same-old rituals in the bedroom. In a situation where getting naked isn't even a second thought, sex can become routine. By creating anticipation, you can remind each other of what it was like when you first met.



2. Try self-pleasure (together) 

In light of the fact that masturbation is a solo act and that there has been a lot of shame attached to it, self-pleasure with your partner can be a very harmonious experience. Intimacy like that can lead to mind-blowing partnered sex on both sides. It says, "I'm not ashamed of being a sexual person, and I'm not ashamed of you, either." It is important to keep in mind that we are all human beings who are trying to find love, acceptance, and approval for our needs, wants, and desires.

3.  Incorporate sex toys

Sex toys can be a great way to ensure that all parties are having fun during sex. From finding new erogenous zones to learning how to reach orgasm, vibrators can enhance intimacy with your partner. Everyone has different needs and desires, and sex toys can be a great way to make sure everyone can finish. However, bringing up this subject can be difficult, as we don’t want to invalidate our partner's feelings by suggesting that they aren’t enough to satisfy our needs. There is a misconception that vibrators are for solo use, or can only be used by one party during sex. This also means that it can be difficult to bring this up with a partner, especially if you haven’t had that conversation before. When a couple has good communication skills and can ask for what they want and need during sex play, then the use of dildo’s and vibrators as well as other sexual paraphernalia is just another way to increase pleasure. A lot of people are also too scared to ‘rock the boat’ and change from vanilla sex, but opening up this conversation is going to make it a lot easier for you and your partner to understand each other, and therefore have more enjoyable sex. 

4. Send a sexy text

There’s something highly erotic about dirty texts and photos. Sexting is a playful way to let your partner know that you’re thinking of them — and all the dirty things you plan on doing to them.

5. Try new positions

There are plenty of sexual positions to choose from. In fact, hundreds. The sky is the limit when it comes to reverse cowgirls, doggy styles, and butterfly positions. It is important to note, however, that not every position will suit you. It's inevitable that you will love some, hate others, and find others "meh". Here, it's best to think about what you and your partner need to feel relaxed. Most women need both clitoral stimulation and penetration for orgasms, for example. But while you’re on the hunt for your fav positions, don’t overlook the trusty missionary. It’s one of the best for intimacy — giving you maximum skin-to-skin contact and allowing you to look into each other’s eyes. I understand that the missionary style often receives criticism for being "boring", but trust me, it doesn't have to be this way.

6. Try some spicey fantasies 

You’ve potentially had at least one or two sexual fantasies in your lifetime (if not more) .

Possibly a power dynamic like

  • Professorandapprentice 
  • Bossandemployee
  • Policeofficerand captive 
  • Doctorandnurse 
  • Dominatrixandsubmissive

Any of this sound familiar to you? Maybe even strangers meeting each other for the first time or your favourite character in a movie can trigger some exciting ideas. Performing sexually out of the ordinary can often lead to steamy results, and who knows – maybe incorporating one’s sexual fantasies into reality will make them seem more realistic and attainable!

7. Have fun (outside of the bedroom)

There is no perfect answer to solving the problem of sexual boredom, but there are a few things you can do to help. One way is to spend more time with your partner, engaging in activities like romantic dinners and morning strolls. Another thing you could try is being more affectionate outside of sex giving your partner hugs or kisses, hold hands. Regardless of what you do, make sure that all activity occurs together. This might very well create a new level of sexual intimacy.

8. Change locations 

Sex in the bedroom is always great, but I suspect that this particular spot is your favourite. You might want to try a new place like the living room, shower, or kitchen counter. Or you can even go outside and explore your swimming pool in a new way. It doesn’t matter what location you choose — as long as it’s not your usual spot. 

The new smells, textures, and sensations will give you a completely different experience and keep your sex life interesting. 

Of course, you can still primarily have sex in your bedroom (if that’s your go-to place), but changing things up now and again will do wonders for your libido.

9. Get kinky

Kink has become more popularised through films and television shows like How to Build a Sex Room and 50 Shades of Grey.

Kink means that it has no set “rules”, and is entirely subjective. It's what you like. What makes kink so great is that it challenges you to push your personal limits of sexual desire. This can help you explore new parts of yourself that you would've never known existed otherwise. Now, there are some extreme and intense forms of kink out there, but I'd suggest taking small steps forward that feel safe for you and working your way up as needed - remember: There's no pressure to commit or keep doing anything if something doesn't feel right! Trying something new (even if it's just a slight variation on what you're already doing) can greatly increase your pleasure levels in the long run.


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